One Down, Six to Go

I took the first Larium (anti-Malaria) pill this morning at 10:00. It was not easy, I have to admitt. Let me back up to last night. I was researching the Larium pills on the internet (as if it has not been a struggle, I contunue to torture myself) and I come across websites that tell horrific stories about the side effects of the drug. Suicides and psychosis. People becoming crazy! So, in the midst of my google mania, I begin to weep in fear. There were so many sites, lawsuits, deaths, cook-koos. I was cried and cried. Brent came in the room and when I told him about my fear, he thought I was kidding. Then, he saw I was a basket case. The fetal position and all. Poor Brent. Once I pulled myself up off the floor, I went in my room and prayed and prayed. I cried out to God to forgive me for fearing the unknown, I gave it up to Him and cried myself to sleep. I really hate Satan. I hate he got a hold of me like that. I actually considered not going just because of the Larium. I know, I know sounds so silly and crazy, but I don't like taking any medication and knowing this could send me to the looney bin really got me in a tizzy. Anywho, I wake up this morning, it was like I had awaken to my own D-day. Hey, I never said I was not dramatic. I knew I had to do it. Brent was taking a final. I knew he would be gone for awhile. I started to cry. I called my in-laws, who are also going to Uganda, to see if they had taken theirs yet (they were unaware of "the episode"). Turns out they were eating breakfast with Dr. McCall who is going to be a missionary in Uganda, and he talked to me and calmed me. He assured me our dosage was small and better to take than get malaria. Sweet, Dr. McCall. I had already called him on Tuesday to get the skinny on Larium--this was his 2nd attempt to calm my fears! After that, I fell to my knees and asked God to cover me and protect me. I rebuked Satan. Man, I did it all. It was spiritual warfare in my own living room! I talked to God for a good half hour. I got up, wiped my now twice swollen eyes, made myself some poached eggs and said a prayer and swallowed. I took my "play sister" and her kids to the Mayborn Museum, took a nap and worked out. That was almost 10 hours ago. I feel fine. My head hurts from all the crying I have done over this whole thing, but other than that, I have not seen any purple monkeys under my bed...yet. We'll see about the nightmare thing. I'll keep you all posted. We just had a "little victory celebration" in honor of my taking the pill. I think it was Brent's celebration that he did not have to check me into DePaul before I took the pill. Keep praying for me. I trust the Lord. I am giving it over to Him...