This Year....

If you are a blogger who only likes pictures, this post will REALLY bore you. If you are like my husband, and want something introspective to read {he is always telling me that my blog is no longer a blog, but a scrapbook} perhaps you will like it! I thought since I am not a fan of the New Year's Resolution, I would instead recap for myself some of the things that I have learned from in the year 2009. Writing something down is a good way to really see for yourself what changes were made, or at least it is for me. Thinking on all aspects of my life, spiritual, emotional, social, intellectual, physical and recalling what unfolded. Some good. Some not so good. Improvement always welcome, but I am not holding myself to it!

On Motherhood: Since this is the biggest area of my life, taking up the most time...encompassing all areas of my life, it is probably a good place to start. I have had a full year in 2009 with 2 children. Here is what I learned:

• There are good times when I cry. There are bad times when I really cry.
• I was pleasantly surprised at the transition from 1 to 2. It was not as bad {for me} as people said.
• That being said though, there are things that really changed and were hard. Brent and I are a tag-team duo. You are more tired. Outings are often a chore. Travel is for the birds.
• I am terrible at getting 2 kids out the door on time. Seems like such a menial task, but getting them dressed and loaded up with all the necessities is hard for me. Definitely something I need to work on!
• I lack patience in a major way.
• Two children take my germ-a-phobe ways to new heights.
• Big boy bed transition was easy.
• Potty training is still in training {the poop part} and extremely frustrating. Hence the patience thing.
• I love having one of each. Each of their worlds excite me so much. I LOVE the difference between boys and girls and it has been so much fun to experience them both!
• Both of my kids have been such a joy this year. Each of them have shown me how different two children in the same family can be and how important it is to foster the differences early!
• I have grown a profound appreciation for my parents, Brent's parents and really, all parents. It is truly a daily siege {I mean that in the best way possible}. Constantly dying to self. Making a ton of mistakes, and seeing how quickly the mistakes WE make turn into potential problems for them. Celebrating the smallest victories and knowing tomorrow will look NOTHING like today. It is a wild ride, folks!

On Marriage: Never wanting marriage to take a backseat to kids. Always vowing to make it a top priority. Figuring out that I don't have it figured out.

• My husband is so wonderful.
• Date night is still not top priority. Needs to be.
• Parenting brings up a whole new set of issues to sort thru. I have become KEENLY aware at how extremely important it is to be on the "same page" in every area. That is tricky sometimes, but I think we do a good job.
• Overall, there is such an importance to keep your common interests fresh, keep doing fun things together. Laugh. Let the little things go.

On Jesus Christ: The very being of my existence. The reason I have anything at all to be thankful for.

• I have learned a huge amount of knowledge of Heaven and the place God created us to return to. Puts my mind at ease.
• Been involved in 'Jesus Said Love'-going to local strip clubs every month and getting to know and love the dancers there. Eye opening for me to say the least. I have been humbled by it. Not because I feel sorry for them, but I feel like we are all one step away from sin that can spiral us into a place we would have never dreamed. I often wonder what my life could have or could turn into if I succumb to sin enough. It has been a privilege to serve there and see a couple of the women actually leave the industry!
• Still working on knowing Jesus for who He is. Still want to be more intimately involved with him.
• Our church family has been incredibly instrumental in teaching me more about the Bible. Our new connection group leader is a PHENOMENAL teacher and I feel like I have experience a new awakening there in terms of biblical knowledge. A very timely blessing.

On Other Things: The other parts of life.

• Losing baby weight. Although it is wrought with controversy {heehee} I did it and some. I feel stronger than ever. I am extremely grateful to have such an outlet of stress-relief in exercise! I am enjoying teaching many classes as well as working out with a core group of friends. It has been a fun little early morning gig.
• Friendships. This year has been strange for me in friendships. The Lord blatantly showed me some relationships that I needed to back away from--not because the people were bad influences--but the importance I placed on their acceptance was not healthy. He also showed me some very special and tender relationships I was missing out on and needed to foster instead. This growth has been huge for me and hard in a lot of ways. However, I trust him and have to daily remind myself that He knows who and what is better for me.
• Also this year, I have just gained this tremendous sense of self. I feel like as a young mother, there is so much pressure to do certain things. Be a part of certain circles. Have your kids in certain things. It sort of brings you back into high school mentality at times...a lot of judgement. I have felt so much more at ease with myself and the way I do things. The way I dress. The way I worship. The way I associate with others. I don't know. It's hard to explain. I just feel more confident in the way I approach a lot of things. Maybe it's old age!

Ok, this is about all I can think of. There is soooo much I could specifically write about, but I think this will do. Hopefully, I can look back at this and jog my memory of the way I felt when I was 29 {with a few weeks to spare} and had 2 young kiddos. I wonder what next year will feel like!