A Little Bit of This

nos·tal·gia
Pronunciation: \nä-ˈstal-jə, nə- also nȯ-, nō-; nə-ˈstäl-\
Function: noun
1 : the state of being homesick : homesickness 2 : a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition; also : something that evokes nostalgia.

An irrecoverable condition. Hmmm. I feel nostalgic a little about a lot of things, but a lot about a few things. Baylor campus. I can hardly set foot on campus because I get an overwhelming nostalgic sensation. It almost brings me to tears. Freaky, I know. Some may call it glory days. I dunno. It's not anything I can control and it is not a bad feeling, but it is nostalgia. It was such a delightful time in my life. So carefree. Something to never again experience. It was what it was. It was great. That being said, Baylor campus and most things that happen there make me have that feeling of "wistful sentimental yearning".

The second thing? Dance. Oh my heart. I was a classically trained dancer for about 10 years here with a local dance company. Lots of practice. Lots of Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays. Lots of discipline. Lots of disappointments. I was not the best dancer in the bunch. I HATED to practice at home. But, my gosh, performing on stage to music was a thrill! My dance teacher would say, learn it like so and so, but perform it on stage like Nicki--leave it all out there. As a dancer,athlete, singer, actor, rodeo star, gymnast, cheerleader, or whomever... I think part of reality is knowing your potential. Is it worth pursuing as a career? TRULY worth it...not what your parents say you can do {because as a parent, I now know they can do anything, right?}. I stopped dancing after high school because I knew aside from fun and exercise, I knew I could not go further. Thus, lead me to discover the world of fitness! I found an alternative in teaching classes, something I knew I could for sure do. And love.

Where am I going with this? Nostalgia. Oh yes. So, fast forward to last night. I had found out about a dance class at a studio here in town offered to adults. Score. I called up 2 of my former dance friends to see if they would come. We were all in and thrilled. Nervous. Silly. I had this vision of 'Center Stage' where she goes to the dance class and everyone is dancing their hearts out as a sweaty mess. Could it possibly be? That an advanced class exists out there like that for me? Here in my semi-small town?

My mind raced as I fumbled to get ready. How awkward would my old body be? Are the rest of the girls aside from my friends going to be a mere 19? Here I am 11 almost 12 years removed. Mother of 2. Saggy boobed. Totally inflexible. Out of my element, yet still in it. I was so excited.

When I got to the class, there were 4 others. All of which were beginners. Very beginner. My jazz class dreams puttered as the instructor announced the class had morphed into ballet. Ick. Nightmare. I am hip hop, people. Oh well, I thought, stick it out. We began our stretches. Humbling. I forget how thorough the stretches are for dancers. Holy. Cow. Humbling. Especially the splits attempt. Yeah. Still, I must say, as the music for the stretches began. I felt myself choking back tears. I felt...at home. I felt...new. I felt...comfort. I know it sounds so crazy and weird. I can't explain it as anything else, but nostalgia. As we continued on with what was more of a ballet technique class rather than the class I had envisioned, the feeling just took over me. We did one measly 8 count combo. But I did it with so much joy. I wonder if back then I would have danced differently knowing how I would feel about it today.

So, all of this to say, after my disappointing, elementary {seriously, your toddlers may do the routine} lesson, I can honestly say it was good to be back in that familiar place.

Does anyone else have anything that makes you feel that way?