Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Am I Crazy? Don't Answer That.

OK, here are the sick things going on in my mind. I am going to Africa. Africa has big mosquitoes. Those suckers (literally) spread things like typhoid and malaria. Fine. I knew that going into the trip. I got many inoculations for those infectious diseases. However, the time has come for me to take my anti-malaria medications. OK. Once a week for seven weeks starting this Saturday. Good, I don't want malaria, so this is going to help. Possible side effects. Headaches, fever, chills, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, hallucinations and bad dreams. OK, not cool. First of all, all of you who REALLY know me know what my #1 fear is...Vomiting. Now, I know that going to a third world country warrants and occasional hurl...the food, the water, the bugs, etc. I will allow myself a possible heave in the name of Jesus...I love Him so much, I want to tell His people in Africa about Him. I don't mind facing that fear, but does it have to be while taking something to prevent the very thing we are trying to prevent? Oh, the agony. The thing that really gets me in the psychosis. Are you kidding me? I could see dragons in my bedroom? Good Lord!! All of this to say, I am awaiting Saturday with fear of the unknown. It is humorous. Brent thinks I am off the ol' rocker. I am starting to agree. This is ludicrous. I wish someone would have slipped it in my drink so I would not be researching these side effects. Are others feeling this way or am I truly a border line hypcondriac--or is it worse? Am I a full blown HC? I have toyed with the idea that I might be before. It's the battle within people. Oh this is funny just watching myself write this. I know it is funny, and I am putting humor into it. I am confessing before God all day long that I am giving this fear over to Him. Satan is a pesky dude. He knows this about me...my fear of weird illness and the unknown. While most people are scared to be in a foreign place without knowledge of the land, some people on our trip are praying their wives don't go into labor early...me, I am concerned about having freaky dreams before I even leave the country. I need prayer, you guys.
Disclaimer: All of this is an extreme exaggeration--I hope all of you know how blessed I feel to love on the people of Uganda! ;)


Anonymous said...

no you're not crazy, bc yeah, i'm not so big on the whole throwing up thing. but God is going to use this (somehow) and use YOU mightily in Uganda. I'm excited for you and know you are always in my prayers!! love ya--jenn p

lauren said...

I just got back in town and am enjoying catching up on your blogs! I will keep praying for your Nana, and yes let me know about praying for your Uganda trip. If you aren't too busy between now and when you leave, let's get together!