I find myself in quite a conundrum. For the past 4 years of my life, I have been spoiled spiritually, I suppose. You see, I worked in an environment that thrived on spiritual growth and prayer. Lots of prayer. I feel that working in a pregnancy center put me smack in the middle of a spiritual warfare battle at all times. You probably would not believe some of the stories I could tell you about my experiences in the spiritual realm. Since I served in a ministry, everyone was a Christian. Some people I worked with were ultra "charasmatic", others were super conservative, some of us were in the middle of the spectrum. I liked the mix. I learned SO much about people's faith as well as my own. I learned to appreciate individual's spiritual gifts like speaking in tongue and prophecy. I felt really like I learned more about my spiritual gifts and used them appropriately and daily! My spiritual life was fostered because in order to simply get through the day, it had to be!
Well, when I got pregnant, I felt completely called to be a stay at home mom. After lots and lots of prayer and wise counsel, I made that decision. Actually, the Lord made it for me...very plain and clear. No doubts at all. I have so enjoyed every moment of staying home. I love to play with Tristan, work out, read to him, lunch with all my mommy friends weekly. Do the stuff I always loved before 5:00.
However, I will say, that I find myself at a place I am not familiar with. Not surrounded by others who are prayerfully going through the day. I am alone now. I am in a different ministry. The ministry of motherhood. A HUGE ministry, people!!! Here's my struggle: learning what I need to do to foster and grow this new ministry challenge. I want to be more prayerful and wise than ever. I want to be engulfed in the Word. But, it's hard to do when you are alone.
I have been reading my Bible and watching Joyce Meyer in the morning. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I have always loved her and she always speaks what I need to hear. I still need more though. I found a note I wrote in my Bible 2 years ago. It was a word I felt I received about having someone disciple me. I feel I need it now more than ever. I know there are lots of Bible studies, but often I am turned off by the "clicheness" of some. I know that may sound harsh, but I am! I would like to be discipled by a wise, older woman. So, pray for me that I might find someone. It is a huge task to ask of another person. SO, my question is to all the mommies, out there: how do you grow spiritually? What works for you? How are you setting time aside for the Lord and incorporating it with your whole life? This is new territory for me!!
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11 comments:
Wow, Nicki. Thanks for sharing that with us. I have absolutely no insight for you whatsoever as someone who doesn't have kids yet, but I anxiously await hearing them from others who have been down the road and are currently walking it. Please keep us up with how you're doing and what's working for you! You're in my prayers, especially that God brings that mentor into your life soon!
I have been thinking about this just this week, because my Beth Moore study has been over for a while (and I just finished all of the catch up work), and I'm having a hard time replacing that spiritual growth it gave me. I don't have any answers either, except to pray for something, or someone. Maybe you could find a group wanting to study together that has the same needs/goals as you??
Interesting, Nicki. Since we've been church-hopping I've felt very dry spiritually. I went and bought a Beth Moore book to try and go through by myself, and I haven't been really successful. Without anyone to really discuss it with I'm not especially motivated to do it. I also see my mother who is SO spiritually disciplined, and I am just amazed. She is such a wise woman and a pray-er! Something I've been wanting to do lately is write the names of people/requests on post-it notes and keep them on my bathroom mirror. That way I can be intentional about bringing them to the Lord every day.
Okay so none of that answered your question in any way...I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm feeling you on several levels. God will honor the desire of your heart...it may not be in a way you expect, but He won't leave you hangin'! :)
Love you!
i should say that i love beth moore studies. last year i finished "breaking free" in a bible study and it was life changing for me. i shouldn't say i dislike all bible studies because i enjoy hers--i think they are pretty meaty.
so i guess i am not the only one feeling a little dry, which is good to know. i am going to pray for a woman who will disciple me~it would be especially nice if SHE approached me! that is the reason i didn't act on it 2 years ago! i mean, do i ask someone to be my mentor?! ahhh! i suppose if the lord has someone, i will know when the time is right, i need some discernment.
Nicki,
I was hesitant to suggest it when I first read your post, but after reading your comment I will. I recently did the Beth Moore study of "Daniel," and found it completely enthralling! I learned so much about Daniel and the Bible as a whole...he was an amazing prophet and man of God. What I liked most was the prophecy side of the study...it is so historical and futuristic at the same time (meaning there are prophecies given to Daniel by the Lord and 3/4 of the prophecy has come true). I hope I'm not rambling, I just would highly encourage you to look at this study...maybe some of your lunch-time mommies would enjoy a weekly bible study, as well. Maybe when you meet for lunch, you could meet to discuss it, as well! I will pray for peace in this part of your life. By the way, the pics in your last post were AWESOME!
Nikki - we don't know eachother but I came across your blog through a friends and was compelled to comment on this post. First of all - I'm so excited to hear that you are actively seeking ways to strengthen your relationship with the Lord! And I can assure you that as a stay at home mom, there are many avenues for growth. I know what you mean about the "cliche" studies out there, but I have managed to find a few that are specifically for women that have really stretched me. Look in to CBS (Community Bible Study)...this is a VERY in depth study of the word that involves homework throughout the week...much like Beth Moore studies but I feel like it is actually more applicable to overall spiritual growth. It is offered in nearly every major city and some small cities. Just type it in on your Internet browser and there should be a link. I'm gonna' be real honest with you - MOPS is ok if you want to make friends and is overall a christian orginazation, however (and this is just my personal opinion and experience!) it didn't strengthen my spiritual walk at all and I eventually dropped out. I would also encourage you to actively seek out relationships with other stay-at-home moms who are on fire for the Lord - if I find a mom who I can tell after a conversation is a true child of God - I get their number and call them!!! It is so important to surround yourself with other women who have things in common with you (mainly the Lord) that can understand the life you lead now as a mom,...otherwise, staying at home will be much more difficult.
Hope that helps!
thanks lindsey!
i totally agree with everything you said. socially, i am a butterfly, i don't feel in any shortage of sweet, Christian friends. i think a MOPS group is fantastic, but not what i am looking for. i am in a playgroup with fellow believers which is great, but hardly time to delve into the Word with 6 kiddos, ya know? I think one big thing is that Moms get so busy! i am learning that first hand! it is hard to stick to a schedule, things are always having to be changed up! anyway, i would love to look into CBS! i would love a deep study. i'll let you know what i have found! i have also considered doing BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). I'll definitely keep you posted and let you know how everything goes! Thanks!!!
I am not a mommy yet, but I have felt "spiritually spoited" through doing bible studies. I LOVE being a part of a study, but when I am finished with one, before another one starts, I feel somewhat "lost". I feel that I don't know how to study on my own because I am so use to being part of group studies. I also did Beth Moore's "Daniel" last fall and it is AWESOME...my favorite out of all of hers I have done. Thanks for being so honest and sharing.
katie,
i call it the "church camp" syndrome. when you are in a group and feel comfortable and on a spiritual high and then...back to reality! it is something i have always struggled with! i am always a work in progress on that matter!
OK...I meant "spoiled" NOT "spoited"!!!! That's what happens when you blog quickly at work!!
Nicki, I am in BSF and absolutely love it. Talk about DEEP! The discussion time is great, and I love that we can't talk about what church we are from. For me, that is very refreshing! :) The daily questions make you think and require you to spend time with the Lord every day, and I really need that accountability. I have been in a spiritual drought myself I feel like this year with how busy we have been, and am looking forward to studying more in the fall when BSF starts up.
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